It Always Starts with a Spark…
Do you recognise this story? Girl meets guy, whether at the gym or just introduced by friends.
It all felt magic to start with.
The spark is bright and exciting and your stomach is full of butterflies and feels like it is doing backflips.
The way he smells, the way he looks at you, that feeling when he gives you a hug, it all feels incredible.
You go o a few dates and everything goes perfectly. It is almost like you are made for each other. Your first kiss is electric and your whole body tingles as he holds you. Whether or not your stop it going further or even if you do, it feels like a match made in heaven.
You know it may be too soon to start telling yourself this is ‘the one’, but you can’t help it. Everything about him seems so right and you stat to imagine a future with him.
And then…
He vanishes without a trace.
He stops calling. He stops chasing you. And even if you see him in person that light is gone from his eyes.
And you’re left alone again.
Alone and heartbroken and feeling foolish and angry and wondering…
WHY?
Why do men come on so strong, get your hopes up, make you FEEL like that… only to PULL away when you’re right at the edge of something passionate and connected and wonderful?
I cover this in more detail in my recent video post, but here’s the quick answer:
Men pull away from women for 3 reasons…
Reason 1: The “Rubber Band Effect”
Men often pull away because a woman has the emotional “rubber band” pulled too tight on her side. She comes across as over-invested, over-close and over-eager too soon for his limited emotional software to handle.
Remember, guys want to CHASE a woman and need to feel like he EARNED her if he’s ever going to truly commit to you. Even if you feel like you’re taking things “emotionally slow” you might be triggering his flight instinct without even knowing it.
Reason 2: A Man Chooses
Men pull away because he has more interest in another woman, or his work or his hobbies. Sometimes this means a guy is a “Player” who’s just looking for sex (which is why you need to make a guy work for that first sexual encounter) but other times it’s because a woman hasn’t triggered deep enough attraction in a man to make him CHOOSE to be with her.
Reason 3: The “Big Commitment”…
Here’s a huge mistake many women make in their online dating profiles:
Putting up something like “Must be looking for a serious relationship only.”
As a guy I can tell you that even great men who are ready and willing to be in something “serious” will run for the hills if he thinks he has to “buy the cow” before he’s even had a chance to get to know it. Again, it’s not that he doesn’t “want” a real relationship or that he’s not “ready” for one, it’s that HE has to make the choice…