Do the Bartman by The Simpsons

It’s surprising whenever a transparently vapid novelty song reaches number one on the charts, but that feeling increases tenfold when the song in question is based on an existing IP. Do the Bartman by The Simpsons is a cash-grab tie-in to one of the best episodes of the animated sitcom in existence, but the song very much lacks the charm of its source material.

Rock Me Amadeus by Falco

Rock Me Amadeus by Falco proves that contemporary reworks of historical figures were a blueprint for success way before Lin-Manuel Miranda dreamed up Hamilton. Nevertheless, it’s hard to explain how this Europop earworm managed to stick to the number one chart spot with such tenacity. Maybe it had something to do with the exceptionally 80s music video?

Lonely by Akon

Discerning listeners probably wouldn’t have given Lonely by Akon a number-one chart placement if they had known what it was leading to: legions of copycats, countless remixes, and eventually the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies. Nevertheless, the chorus instantly became the must-have ringtone for every teen girl’s 2005 Motorola clamshell phone for a reason, that reason being its otherworldly catchiness.

We Built This City by Starship

Starship had honourable intentions when they released We Built This City in 1985. The group simply wanted to mourn the loss of live music venues in their new home of Los Angeles and to spur audiences into flocking to support their local scene. Unfortunately, they actually delivered a stadium rock anthem so ubiquitous and by the numbers that it couldn’t drive the counter-cultural point home.

The Ketchup Song by Las Ketchup

Nonsense, mindlessly sing-along choruses, delivered by a one-hit wonder and resulting in a number one single is such a prolific stereotype that it was even parodied on Phineas and Ferb, and The Ketchup Song by Spanish girl group Las Ketchup is the perfect example. Ostensibly, it’s about a man misbehaving and dancing in the club, but more people remember the dance moves than the story.

It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy

Songs about adultery, both celebrating it and lamenting it, have been a mainstay of the pop charts for decades. With that said, It Wasn’t Me by Shaggy doesn’t fit neatly into either category. Both tragic and goofy, apologetic and apologism, the only reason for this hit’s number one status is its infectious to the point of maddening hook.

Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex

Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex was not the last number-one song to mix country music with techno elements, but it was both one of the first and undoubtedly the most infamous. This song is now mostly played at throwback discos, on Dance Dance Revolution machines at arcades around the country, and by tired millennials trying to entertain their toddlers, but its number-one status won’t be forgotten.

My Ding-A-Ling by Chuck Berry

Chuck Berry’s contributions to the course of rock and pop history cannot be overstated. However, for as talented and influential as the man was, not all of his songs were winners. My Ding-A-Ling is a song both so saccharine and so creepy that its rise to the top spot of the charts is truly baffling. Maybe people were unable to listen properly because his shirt was so loud?

Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

Nowadays, Ice Ice Baby is little more than meme fodder, or a reminder of just how cringe the early 1990s had the capacity to be. However, its legendary stay at the top of the charts is officially proof that people once upon of time didn’t just like it, but thought it was cool and cutting edge. In reality, it might be the only writing credit Bowie regretted getting.

Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65

Blue (Da Ba Dee) is the definitive Europop anthem. As in, Eiffel 65’s debut album featuring the single is literally called Europop. Nevertheless, despite the undeniably catchy chorus and unique, compelling vocal delivery, it’s a little difficult to unpack why listeners spanning multiple continents went so nuts for this song. Perhaps it was the bopping blue aliens in the music video?