They never ask about your day
If you’re constantly asking your partner how their workday went or if anything exciting happened while they were visiting family, then you’ll know how hurtful it is when they don’t return the favor. Maybe they make up for it by showing that they’re invested in your life in other ways, or maybe they don’t care about you as much as they should.
You’ve no idea what their values are
Being overly preachy and judgy is a massive turn-off for many people, but there’s a danger when things swing too far in the other direction too. If you have no idea what your partner’s values are, it could be because they don’t have any or they don’t trust you enough to reveal them to you. Neither is a good sign for the health of your relationship.
They don’t have any hobbies
No one can be busy all the time, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to chill out in front of the TV after work every now and then. With that said, if your partner has absolutely no hobbies or interests to speak of, that could mean that they have issues with motivation, goal-orientedness, self-improvement or discipline, which could affect other areas of their life.
You’ve given up on arguing with them
If you and your partner spend most of your time arguing, then your relationship probably isn’t the healthiest. At the same time, if you’ve given up on arguing altogether because your other half never seems to learn or make an effort to compromise, that’s not a good sign either. Either they don’t see your relationship as a priority, or they simply can’t change, and neither is a good thing.
They never offer to wash the dishes
Dragging feet around doing the dishes might seem like an innocuous habit as, let’s face it, everyone has chores they absolutely abhor. With that said, it could also indicate that your partner doesn’t see your time as as valuable as theirs, or doesn’t respect the space you share. In other words, this is a beige flag that could easily turn red over time.
You’ve no idea where the relationship’s going
It’s totally okay to date for fun and not stress out about defining the relationship early on, but both parties should have agreed to keep things chill and casual if that’s the case. If you don’t remember ever talking through your relationship goals with your partner, and they seem to have no interest in the topic, they could be in the relationship by default rather than with intention.
They use pet names you hate
This one comes down to your partner respecting your agency, and liking you as a person in addition to loving you. While it might seem annoying but harmless, if your other half insists on calling you Snuggles at every opportunity despite it making your skin crawl, it could mean they either secretly enjoy humiliating you or don’t see your boundaries as worth respecting.
They don’t know your friends’ names
Your partner doesn’t need to be a walking Rolodex of every acquaintance you’ve ever met in order for the relationship to be healthy. They should, however, know the names of your closest friends, especially if you’ve been dating for a long time. If they don’t, it’s either because they don’t make an effort to hang out with your pals, or they don’t care about your life.
You struggle to find things to talk about
After the honeymoon phase, it’s normal for couples to temporarily struggle to find things to discuss, as they come down from the giddy highs of the relationship’s first blush. However, there’s a big difference between that normal adjustment period and complete conversation doldrums, which at best mean you have nothing in common and at worst mean you maybe don’t even like each other.
They don’t talk about their goals
Lack of ambition isn’t a relationship dealbreaker for everyone, but there’s a big difference between being a promotion-chasing stockbroker and having absolutely zero goals of any kind. If your partner hasn’t so much as taken a piano lesson, learned a few words of French or even made a plan to clean out the garage, that shows a lack of investment in life.