She goes quiet. She goes quiet for no apparent reason and you don’t know why. You ask her what’s wrong, she tells you nothing’s wrong. But you know, there’s defiantly something wrong. The only ‘logical’ reason for this behaviour is that you have insulted her. Except you don’t even know what you said, because you weren’t trying to upset her. You were actually giving her a compliment. Weren’t you?..
1. You look fine.
Whoa! You didn’t actually SAY that did you? My old running shoes are ‘fine’, my ham salad is ‘fine’, my journey to work this morning was ‘fine’. Are you really going to compare this woman to ‘fine’. Fine isn’t ‘beautiful’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘incredible’ or ‘stunning’. Fine is the worst! It’s boring, it’s dull and nobody really has much to say about it. Do her a favour and stretch your vocabulary the next time you try and comment on her appearance.
2. You’re so bubbly.
Excuse me? To you bubbly might mean a whole load of fun with lots of energy. Cute! The thing is, ‘bubbly’ actually means quite loud and a little bit overweight. No woman want’s to be called bubbly. Even if she is, it’s enough to wipe that smile right off her face.
3. You look like you enjoy a good meal.
Does she? Does she really LOOK like she enjoys a good MEAL? Are you saying she looks like she eata. And eat. And eats and eats and eats. Because that’s what it sounds like. Are you trying to say she eats soooo much food that her body is having to store it as fat because she can’t do enough to burn it off?? Because that what is sounds like. To a woman.
4. ‘You are so sexy’
Women do want to be seen as attractive but to use the words ‘sexy’ or ‘hot’ is a different kind of attractive. More of a sex object attractive. If you want to let a woman know you find her attractive, stick to ‘beautiful’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘incredible’ and save ‘stunning’ for special occasions.
5 …for a girl
‘You’re funny, for a girl’ or ‘You’re smart, for a girl’. Bad move. Not only have you just compared an adult to a ‘girl’, you’ve also compared a male to a female and suggested that women are so far beneath men that they have their own little league to play in. You have just told this woman straight out that you’re a chauvinistic pig and the compliment you attempted to give has gone in one ear and out the other while she’s trying to work out where the nearest exit is.