A great article from WikiHow gives some ways to recognise a controlling person. I would have thought being told by your friends and family should be the first clue. However, many people who are in controlling relationships can’t see it no matter who is telling them. The article shares the following tips..
1. Do they make you feel like you can’t be yourself? Guilty? Suffocated? Like you always have to give in? – Controlling people have an amazing ability to manipulate people to do what they want. If you do find yourself in this position, take a step back and ask yourself or even your close friends whether or not this behaviour is acceptable.
2. Are they moody? Sulking or throwing hissy fits when they don’t get their own way. – Controlling people are a little like babies. They realise that when they throw a hissy fit they get attention. Never succumb to this attention seeking behaviour. It will only get worse if you do.
3. Do they have a bad temper and you never know where you stand with them? – This is not acceptable behaviour. If they are bad tempered all the time, stand up to them and tell them, unless it changes you are leaving. If they still don’t change, they were not worth having in the first place.
4. How do they react to questions? Questions can irritate a controlling person because they would rather be in control of the questioning, not anybody else. – If your partner gets irritated when you question them, you are not in the wrong. They need to be more open to question and debate.
5. Do they put you down rather than compliment you? – This is a big factor in control. They constantly knock you down to make you think you will not get any better than them. Well I am here to tell you, you can!
6. Can they accept ‘No’ for an answer? – You NEVER EVER have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable or don’t want to do. If they don’t take no for an answer, get out of there FAST.
7. What happens when you want to do your own thing? Make you own plans? Is there a problem? – They should feel comfortable with you doing your own thing. If they keep a close eye over you, there is a trust issue or they are insecure.
8. Can they take responsibility if they cause a problem? Or can they somehow put the blame on you? – Don’t let them manipulate you into thinking a problem they caused is actually your fault. Stand up for yourself and let them know you will not be bullied.
9. Do they try and cause trouble between you and your friends and your family? – Your partner should always appreciate your relationship with your family and how important this can be. If they try to keen you away from your family they are trying to manipulate you because they feel they will be able to control you more if you have nowhere to go when things get tough.
10. Do they have their own friends? If so are they surrounding themselves with only people who they don’t feel jealous of? – Controlling people hate people doing better than them in any walk of life. If your partner only hangs round with people they feel they are better than, there is a big red flag you should be running a mile from.
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