Warning: This post is not intended for ‘morning people’.
If you’re one of those annoying ‘early bird catches the worm types’, well lets face it you’re probably not even reading this, you’re probably already on a hike or blending a smoothie.
If, on the other hand, you’re pretty normal and find mornings difficult to deal with at the best of times then the following list will be full of your worst nightmares.
10. Getting out of a warm bed into a cold house.
If the heating didn’t come on when it should have, why should YOU have to get out of bed! Putting warm feet onto a cold floor can cause chilblains (painful sores caused by blood vessels expanding too quickly due to extreme temperature change). If you lift the covers and are met with a waft of cold air, it’s better for your own health and safety to just stay in bed.
9. A constant stream of text, Facebook notifications, what’s apps and tweets.
If you made the mistake of not putting your phone on silent when you went to bed, you might find that while the social media word awakes, so to do you. If your phone is dinging and vibrating next to your sleepy head, the curiosity is too much to resit. Before you know it, you’ll be having a quick peek at what’s going down. I can guarantee you now; it won’t be worth waking up to.
8. Children’s TV
If you accidentally select a channel that has some kid’s cartoons on, you’ve probably made the biggest mistake one can make first think in the morning. You will be met this a lot of screaming and bright, bright colours. The best way to deal with it? Hit the power button and go straight back to bed.
7. A knock on the door
Oh my God. Who the f*@k is THAT? Well it could be the postman with a very exciting parcel for you. What’s that? You didn’t order anything? Ooooh well what if someone has sent you something as a surprise?! On the other hand it could be Jehova’s Witnesses wanting to have a friendly conversation. It’s a tough choice but you only have 10 seconds to make it before whoever it is, leaves.
6. No milk
It’s a classic, the only reason you’ve really gotten out of bed is because you want a cup or tea/coffee. If you get to the fridge and there’s no milk left, what the hell are you supposed to do? Only one solution this common scenario; get back into bed.
5. No hot water
Either the boiler’s broken or some selfish turnip has enjoyed a shower for far longer than is acceptable. When the water’s gone, it’s gone, so the best thing to do is, yes you guessed it, jump straight back into bed!
4. Too many questions
Whether it’s your boss, your partner or your best mate, someone is bound to ask you questions before 11am and that person is an idiot. It’s not possible to answer questions properly in the morning so whatever responses come out of your mouth, you’re not technically responsible for. If only everyone would take their barrage of questions and go back to bed.
3. Traffic
When you’ve had to go through the trauma of actually getting up, getting washed, dressed and possibly having some form of breakfast, you jump in the car/on a bus/on a bicycle etc and head off to the dreaded ‘work’. You don’t even want to go! So why is it so annoying that other people, collectively known as ‘traffic’ are stopping you from getting there? SELFISH! Everybody needs to get out or your way asap because YOU need to get to work.
2. Pet dramas
Don’t get me wrong, we all love pets, otherwise there would be no such thing a pets. But there’s no time factored into the morning routine to deal with any pet drama. This includes cleaning up poop/vomit, pets choking on buttons or crying because they don’t want you to leave. The most frustrating situation is when the pet choses to not come back into the house after you’ve let them out for a wee. Instead of you having to run out into the cold to get them, you just bed them and open and close the fridge hoping the sound will send them shooting back in for a piece of cheese.
1. Bin Men
Are you serious? Why you gotta be so loud? You know those smug bin men’s favourite part of the job is waking good people up, streets at a time. And not only do they wake you up, the make so much noise ofr so long that it’s just impossible to get back to sleep, even once their gone. Solution? I’m afriad in this case, there just isn’t one…
