1. Rapping the songs in assembly instead of actually singing because you lived the thug life and cared for nobody.
2. Whacking the other kids in the head in a heated game of duck duck goose.
3. Using your binder to cover up your math test answers so that none of the little 6 year old bastards would copy you.
4. Sitting on the benches in assembly in Year 6, looking down at all the younger pupils, and thinking ‘started from Reception now we’re here’.
5. Singing “He’s got the whole world in his PANTS” during the assembly because you thought you were funny and couldn’t be controlled.
6. Being sent to the bench because you got in trouble and had to watch all of your friends play and have fun.
7. Getting yourself unstuck from the mud while your friends were not looking because you were a renegade and you could do anything.
8. Spending the whole of your primary school life trying to get everyone to like you.
9. Watching Bill Nye after class and wondering if the guy was smart or insane.
10. Being chosen to be ‘the murderer’ in a tense game of Wink Murder and feeling like a mastermind criminal with no limits to your power.
11. Rolling down your big school socks into the rings and setting the trend for everyone else because that’s how you rolled.
12. If I’m Mom and you’re Dad, then who will she be? The dog.
13. Accidentally singing an extra ‘of kings’ at the end of ‘Sing Hosanna’ and being totally humiliated for letting everyone down.
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