8 Things you Should do When He’s Messed Up

This post is for any girl who is trying to decide what action to take when their boyfriend has messed up. When i say messed up, I’m not talking about him leaving the milk out or being 10 minutes late for a date. I’m talking about him breaking your trust, humiliating you, lying to you, betraying you or even abusing you.


1. Get away from him


Get as far away from him as possible so that you can have a real good think about exactly what’s gone on without him trying to convince you of his side of the story. Turn your phone of so he can’t contact you. You need to have a good think on your own.

2. Look at the facts


Write down how you feel about what happened, and then on a separate page, write down the facts about what has happened. Although it may feel like your feelings are important at the moment, the truth is, it’s the facts that you need to focus on.


3. Gather missing information


If you can’t make a judgement on whether he has actually messed up, or if it just looks like he’s messed up then you need to do some asking around to find out and missing information. Add these facts to your list.

4. Decide who you can trust


In a messed up situation, usually, there are a few people involved, often telling different stories. To decide on who you can trust you need to look at these peoples track records. If someone has lied to you before, you probably shouldn’t trust them.

5. Ask yourself a question


Look back at your list of the facts. Ask yourself “do I deserve to be treated this way?”. I can tell you right now that 99% of the time, the answer is ‘no’.

6. Make a plan


Plan the quickest and simplest way to end the relationship (preferably without having to speak to your now ex). Ask a friend of a family member if you need assistance.

7. Move on


Follow your plan, do not give your ex the closure he needs by bothering to explain to him how badly he’s messed up, he already knows that.

8. Make a new list


This list should be all the characteristics you want in a guy. In future when you meet someone new it will come in handy. Don’t settle for the guy that isn’t on your list.

By Hannah Jones

Hannah is a Manchester based writer who has spent many years studying and working in the field of journalism and psychology. Hannah enjoys swimming, meditation and dog walking. Her favourite quote is, 'If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.'