Response to: Am I Losing My Mind…

Problem posted on Relationship Surgery 16.10.13;

“Ok here goes, been with my partner 4 years. Things have always been difficult as it is a long distant relationship, however more recently he has started lying about everything he does. He has been out on dates with another girl and told me he was working at the time and is also constantly texting her and calling her.I have asked him to please stop contact with this girl and delete her number as it makes me uncomfortable which he does when im with him but the minute hes away from me he readds her number and contacts ger again. He tells me nothing is going on between them and that im being paranoid and controlling. I feel like im losing my mind right now and have even resorted to checking his phone and emails(which i know is wrong). This has been going on for the past 6 months, he also used to speak to me on a daily basis for around 3 hours since we only see each other some weekends. This past few weeks he can hardly muster an hour conversation with me and rarely texts me anymore. I have also had to change my phone number since i was getting anonymous texts saying he was cheating and have had malicous facebook messages from fake accounts. I love him a lot and have tried talking to him about all this but he just gets angry calling me all sorts of vile names. I realy wanted to work this out with him but he is making it impossible and i am at the point where im hardly eating or sleeping im that stressed. Does he actually have any feelings for me or should i face fact and end this relationship before i completely lose my mind.”

Oh no. What a horrible situation to be in. And for 6 months! How dare he make you feel this bad for this long. This guy is absolutely 100% guaranteed stringing you along in case it doesn’t work out with this other girl. I’m so sorry to say it straight out like that but it is what it is. The worst thing about it though, is the guys got YOU questioning YOURSELF! Classic! He’s a little snake and he’s been manipulating you into doubting yourself. You call yourself ‘paranoid and controlling’ but of course! Who WOULDN’T be paranoid in this situation?? All the evidence has added up! Who wouldn’t want to control a situation that was leading them down a very painful path! This man hasn’t got any feelings for anyone but himself. If he had any decency about him he would have an open, honest, long conversation with you.

You should look into the stages of break ups, I feel that you might be in denial right now. Which in my opinion is the hardest stage and can be the longest stage. No one can tell you what you don’t want to hear, but I think deep down you are opening your eyes and it’s starting to dawn on you that the relationships over. The man you love has turned out to be a total idiot and I am so sorry for you. x


By Hannah Jones

Hannah is a Manchester based writer who has spent many years studying and working in the field of journalism and psychology. Hannah enjoys swimming, meditation and dog walking. Her favourite quote is, 'If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.'