Problem posted on Relationship Surgery 20.10.13
“Hey guys…ok straight to the point…im in a relationship for 11/2 years with this amazing girl…trouble is i hav trouble trusting her..it all started when we were 3 months into the relationship when she went on a camping trip and during a night trek slept on a guys lap and he slept on hers..she says its nothing and the guy is a year younger and she sees him like a brother…but still that incident is burned into my brain..since then iv always accused her of cheating on me..even when she just talks to a guy and she used to maintain contact with her crush..after he rejected her proposal..she says she was a kid back then and now they are both mature enough the laugh about the whole crush thing and it hurts me because she never proposed to me…i was the one who proposed to her..does that mean she doesnt love me like that guy???..and because of that she has stopped talking to guys completely and she hates me for it…she said it to my face..i even get this paranoia about her ex…since she broke things off i cant help but feeling he is still trying to get back with her…and sabatoge our relationship…shes says im being paranoid and we always fight about it…no matter what iv done or tried i still cant shake the feeling of her being with someother guy i check her messages and stuff when im with her so far no signs…i need help!!! I dont wanna lose her”
It would be interesting to know if you have ever been cheated on in the past? The reason I would like to know is it seems that this is a problem in your own mind. Is it possible that you’re protecting yourself from something happening that has in fact already happened in a previous relationship?
You have admitted that when you check her messages you have no reason not to trust her and the incident that you say started all this doesn’t really sound like a big deal. I mean what she did wasn’t great but if you have no proof that she has ever betrayed you, then you can’t accuse her of anything.
Don’t let your insecurities drive this girl away from you. If she is repeatedly accused of being a cheat when she isn’t, she won’t put up with it for long. Have a look inwards and try and work out what it is that is making you so worried she’s going to ruin your relationship.