12 Signs You Have Reached Peak Comfort Levels in your Relationship


When we begin a new relationship, we tend to do a great job presenting the best of the best of ourselves. We are always clean, shaven and showered. We never discuss things that don’t develop the relationship – things like family, goals, deepest secrets or day-to-day activities. But what we learn over time is that nothing really brings us closer than laughing at the accidental fart or still managing great oral sex on an unshaven vagina. Nothing makes you realize how much you really love each other than when you greet each other with delightful morning breath or gain weight in places that make you cringe. Let’s face it – all that we tried to keep off the radar at the beginning eventually comes front and center when the relationship is mature.

Here are a few examples of how you know you have reached the maximum comfort levels with someone:

#1 There is no need to shave.

You get to shave if and when you want to. There is no longer the need to impress someone. This applies to guys and gals alike – but let’s just focus on the ladies for a minute. It’s 5 degrees below zero outside for the second month in a row. Why bother shaving when you’re gonna have Goosebumps bringing all that stubble right back the second you step out of the shower? No guy is in his right mind for leaving his lady if she didn’t shave for a month. And the same goes for the guys.

#2  You fart in front of each other

Got a nice booty? Guess what? There’s a bootyhole that comes with it!

Gals are terrible about this – they try to pretend that they don’t fart for anywhere up to two years of a relationship. But then there’s that really long road trip or feeling relaxed while watching a movie at home and bloop! The secret is out! No more blaming silent but deadlies (SBDs) on him! You both fart! It’s even better when you begin to rate your farts on a scale from 1 to 10. You get more points based on length, range, volume, aroma, etc. **grin**

#3 Poop is discussed – no holding back

Discussing the “Everyone Poops” book suddenly opens a door to be real. What was once reserved only for the doctor or your Mom who still asks if you are getting enough fiber is now open range for discussion with your mate. Plus you can totally tell when the other one is “doing their thing” anyway – they take longer than normal in the bathroom or suddenly disappear around the exact same time each day.  Pooping is fun and a source of relief for most folks – being able to include your mate is definitely a sign that the gloves are off!

#4 Discussions about the monthly cycle become normal.

Sometimes it’s just necessary. Gals do a lot more than just bleed for 5 days – and those days may or may not be on time, so the potential shame and loss of dignity is a big deal. There are headaches, cramps, mood swings where she may even feel like “who is this person?” and she’s talking about herself during this time. The key is to only let her bring it up – don’t ever try to blame a less than positive circumstance on the possibility that she may be OTR. What type of discussion is also helpful – but again, it’s usually better to let her bring it up.  All in all, two people definitely become closer when they are able to have these discussions. This topic is typically only reserved for close lady friends, moms and doctors. Conversations that go well in this area are typically an indication of the overall health of the relationship.

#5 Peeing with the door open

You find yourselves first on the phone with each other and one of you has to pee. When you stop telling the other one that you will call them back in a few minutes or graduate to just muting the phone and let it rip, you’ve reached a new level. The conversation continues like normal as if nothing else is going on. Good stuff.

#6 You pee in the shower when you shower together

There are two types of people – those who pee in the shower and those who lie about it. And who ever thinks girls don’t pee in the shower are smoking something. And so you get in the shower, the warm water causes muscles to relax. You both pee and then use soap – it’s very liberating. There is no longer anything “gross” unless the drain is stopped and you are now both standing in pee-soapy water. None the less, you are in a different place when there’s complete comfort in the shower.

#7 Morning breath is tolerable

Let’s face it. Morning breath is gross – no matter what. You either learn to overlook it or sneak a quick rinse of mouthwash on your midnight trip from the bathroom. Either way, what you feared the most when you first together you are now completely over.

#8 You find and remove pimples and blackheads

This is a rather fun one. Since you get to see parts of the other person that they don’t get to see, you might find those hard to reach and how-did-that-get there pimples and blackheads! The “hold still” and squeezing for a cleaner better you is always a good thing.

#9 Being sick doesn’t rule out kissing

When you love the other person more than you care about getting yourself sick, you are in a good place. No longer does the nasally-sounding mate turn you off – you love them and don’t want them to feel unloved. This is when we typically find ourselves unlovable. No one would want to touch me or hug me – never mind kiss me. That’s the message going through our minds. So to have someone willing to do all of those things really means all that much more when we are sick!

#10 Gaining weight isn’t a deal breaker

Bodies are going to do different things over the years. Up, down, in out – the weight comes and goes. When we love the person beyond the way they look, that’s definitely a sign of true love. After all, you want to be with someone you can grow intellectually, emotionally, spiritually as well as physically over the years. Of that short list, guess which one is the first to “go”? That’s why not being affected by weight is so important.

#11 Hair loss or hair color change is something to be celebrated

This is a big one primarily for the ladies. Men are often very concerned with changes in their hair patterns as it is a sign of their apparent age. When she loves him regardless of him starting to lose his hair at 25 or whatever age, that means a lot.

The same is true for gentlemen. Ladies’ hair also tends to thin out over the years. That means that favorite haircuts are no longer an option.

For both men and women, it is likely that hair will change colors – sometimes by choice and sometimes not. Learning to celebrate these changes and make the most with what you have is just one more way to really come up under each other in the relationship.

#12 You still totally find each other attractive

Through thick and thin, when we still get that “zing” from our mates – look forward to seeing them and being with them, then we have reached that level we have dreamed of. It’s the place where we can say, “I am loved no matter what – unconditionally.” What a great feeling – when we are allowed be the best us we can be!

By Hannah Jones

Hannah is a Manchester based writer who has spent many years studying and working in the field of journalism and psychology. Hannah enjoys swimming, meditation and dog walking. Her favourite quote is, 'If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.'