How a Superhero at Burger King Shut up a Screaming Brat

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We’ve all been there – you are standing at a fast food restaurant and an out-of-sorts child seems to be controlling the entire joint. What do you do? Probably nothing – other than offer a few glares in the direction of the failing grown-up(s) who are supposed to be supervising and in control of the situation. Enter stage left, what appears to be a normal guy now-dubbed-Superhero who took matters into his own hands. The glares at the kid weren’t working. The glares at the grown-up wasn’t working. All of the employment staff appeared helpless at this half-sized human making a ton of noise. And so what does he do? What all of us wish we could – and might now – he bought all of the pies so the kid couldn’t have any.

Please note, these are not the actual photos of our Superhero as he did not post any. But we are an imaginative group, aren’t we? We think he’d look something like this:


And the culprits? Again, no photos, but we’re pretty sure they look like this:



“Societal Terror”


And now, for the facts of the story as observed my our Superhero himself:

So a while ago I had decided to treat myself and go to Burger King. I hadn’t had the greatest of days and I had a headache coming on. It was a very long line and I was at the end of it waiting patiently. When behind me comes this woman yapping on her cellphone with a little monster of a child. This kid was out of control, screaming, punching his mother throwing around a Gameboy whenever something didn’t go right in the game. The mother didn’t seem to pay any attention to him and his continued yelling of ‘I want a F****** PIE’. After about 5 minutes of the line with these people behind me, I had gone from a headache to a full on migraine, but nothing was going to stop me from getting those burgers. I calmly turn and ask her nicely if she can please calm or quiet her child down. Immediately she gets up in my face telling me I can’t tell her nothing about raising her child and to mind my own business. I nod and turn around, she’s still yelling at the back of my head when the child cries out again how he wants a pie, the mother consoles him, calling him sweety and ensuring they’ll get pies for lunch because she loves him so much. 

Without much of a choice, the Superhero took action:

I then decide to ruin their day. I order every pie they have left in addition to my burgers. Turned out to be 23 pies in total, I take my order and walk towards the exit. Moments later I hear the woman yelling, what do you mean you don’t have any pies left. Who bought them all? I turn around and see the cashier pointing me out with the woman shooting me a death glare. I stand there and pull out a pie and slowly start eating eat as I stare back at her. She starts running towards me but can’t get to me because of other lineups in the food court. I turn and slowly walk away. 

Yeap – that would be the Death Star winning over the Death Stare. Eat it lady – oh wait, sorry, we bought that out too! Our hero did shed a tear of remorse however. The original posting title was, “Am I a bad person for this?” Maybe…but I’m sure it will make her think twice next time!


By Hannah Jones

Hannah is a Manchester based writer who has spent many years studying and working in the field of journalism and psychology. Hannah enjoys swimming, meditation and dog walking. Her favourite quote is, 'If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.'