Let’s face it – life is short. If anyone were to ever ask a crowd of thousands of people, “Who here is terminal?” The reality is that we would all have to raise our hands. We are all terminal – we all have a condition called Age. It happens and at some point, we will expire. So, in short, our days are numbered – so we may as well make the most out of each and every precious day we have. Here are 30 things to ponder as we close out the year – perhaps some of these will inspire New Year’s resolutions that will lead to an even more fulfilling year than this one was. Check these out:
#1 Deliberately spend time with the right people – not the wrong ones
Realize that you are awesome and amazing – a masterpiece. If others don’t make room in their life for you, then move on. You want people who will continually call out the “gold” in you, champion who you are and what you are doing. You also want people who will love you enough to tell you the truth – even when it is difficult. Spend time with folks who help you grow and bring joy to your world.
#2 Face your fears – don’t run from them
Fear and shame are terrible “friends” who gang up on us and send us life depraving messages like: “I should” this or that, or “If people know this or that about me, they won’t love or like me” and the like. If you find yourself entertaining thoughts like this, find someone you trust and just tell them. Expose the lies and the hidden things so that they can no longer keep you captive. You can easily take control over your thoughts and regain your life back – growing into someone who is confident in who they are without the feeling that you need to hide for the fear of others.
#3 Be honest with yourself
Keep a journal if you need to – be honest with yourself about who you are and what you are thinking. If you have run over your heart repeatedly, you have also likely usurped your heart’s ability to feel. Give yourself a break. Give your heart permission to feel again – to be alive. Better to feel and be alive than to breathe and be dead inside. Get in touch with the real you.
#4 Bring your needs to the front burner
We are all terribly familiar with putting our needs on back burner – to self-sacrifice for our kids or others in our lives. But when everyone else is in bed and we finally have a minute, do we bring out our true selves and take care of them? Do we have someone in our lives who can help us with that? It is our job to recognize that we have needs, they are valid and we are valuable. Find ways to acknowledge your own needs and get them met. Unmet needs lead to pain cycles where we continually deny the validity of ourselves and our needs – ultimately, this leads to depression and an uncontrolled ability to deprave others of their needs too. Stop the cycle and love yourself today! Get your needs met well so you can meet the needs of others well.
#5 Only you can be the best you – so be the best you!
Comparison is the killer of maintaining our true identity. There will always be someone prettier, taller, smarter, etc. But there is only one person who can be the best you – and that is you! If you don’t live by the praises of others, you won’t die by their criticisms either.
#6 Let go of the past – embrace the future
One cannot fully embrace the future if they are holding on to the past. If there is someone you need to forgive, do it. If there is a memory you need to stop the tape from replaying continuously, find whatever it is that will make it stop. Otherwise, you are the one who is captive. The memory has no feeling and the other person may have no clue. Find the silver lining and celebrate a new beginning with each moment.
#7 Celebrate the opportunity to teach rather than being afraid
Fearing the repercussions of the mistakes of others (especially our kids) is a terrible prison to live in. Our kids make mistakes – just like we did. If we allow the opinions of others to rule us, we will never win and never be happy. We will be walking on eggshells all the time and eventually, live disconnected from ones we love. We will grow tolerant to mediocre relationships with zero depth because it looks great on the surface. Rather, live in freedom – freedom to fail and to succeed. When a mistake happens, celebrate the option to learn from it. Get rid of the fear of making mistakes or not getting it right. Thank goodness inventors of the world kept at it or we would not have the wonderful marvels of today – take Mr. Edison for example!
#8 Let yourself go
Made a mistake or two in life? No matter how large or how small, we are not powerful enough to completely screw up our lives. Everything is in fact, redeemable. Let yourself go. Let yourself out of the cage. Picture yourself and hug that person who needs to be loved in the middle the biggest mess of their life. You would likely do that for a loved one, so why not you too? Tell the hounds that keep lurking at your door to bark elsewhere – this house is a house of peace and barkers are not welcome.
#9 Happiness is not for sale – so stop trying to buy it
You know what attracts a butterfly? Something that is still. Happiness is like a butterfly – if we are content enough to be still and quiet, it will land on us. Rather than us pursuing something that keeps running from us, let us make like something that attracts the very thing we are after. Happiness is not for sale – take a quick look at millions of impoverished people around the world. They don’t have a lot – but hearing the laughter of one of those kids is, well, priceless.
#10 Don’t look to others or things to fulfill what they were not designed to
If you pulled into a gas station and looked for food to flow from the pump, you won’t find it. Why? Because gasoline is designed to make engines go – not to feed the human body. In the same way, when we turn to racy novels or pornography to ease tension or anxiety or provide comfort when we are lonely, we are seeking a counterfeit. The feeling we get from it does not last – it isn’t the thing that we need. We often feel more empty afterward than we did to begin with. The same applies to people. Ever just sit there and wait for a phone call or a text? And when they call or text, you finally feel like you are validated? Beware that you are placing the power of validation in the hands of someone else. Further, that someone else is not designed to fulfill the need or the ache that you have in your heart.
#11 Embrace a life free from idleness
Analysis paralysis is the mother of idleness. Don’t allow your fears to keep you sedentary, losing time with each day. Stand up – put one foot in front of the other and step out into the rest of your life!
#12 Stop telling yourself that you are not ready
No one ever feels 100% prepared to take the next step in life. Expand the tent pegs of your comfort zone – you often are far more prepared than you think!
#13 Enter relationships for the right reasons
When we are living life in a way where we are getting our needs met, we tend to be whole people. We don’t have baggage or doors open to codependent or otherwise unhealthy relationships. We know how we tick – we know how we work. We establish healthy boundaries and enforce them in love. We know who is in our inner circles and who is not – and why. When we live in this way, we are not lonely and therefore not looking for relationships to provide us with something. We look to invest into a relationship, not simply take from it. We learn how to keep ourselves attractive to our spouse over time because we learn how to be good at community and live as whole people.
#14 Embrace relationships, don’t reject them
We have all had relationships that did not work out. We assessed the “why” and moved on – right? If you have not moved on quite yet, consider why and see what you need to do to get there. Taking a risk after being hurt is a huge and commendable step.
#15 Define success before you enter into the circumstance
The definition of success in a task or life in general is an interesting idea to ponder. It becomes part of our core values or the virtues by which we live our lives. When we stick to these, we are not tossed about by the whims of life or the opinions of others. Envision yourself as a “success” first and then ask yourself what steps you did to get you there. This will help guide you down a good path rather than reacting to something and then regretting your behavior afterward.
#16 Don’t waste time being jealous
Jealousy is one of those irritating emotions – it nags at us, taunting us to think or feel a certain way about something. The message to our heart is, “Good things are not coming for me.” Don’t entertain silly ideas like that. Rather, celebrate with those who are benefiting. After all, you will be very glad when they are celebrating with you!
#17 Reject the invitation to a pity party
Feeling sorry for ourselves is never a good plan. Combat these thoughts with that of gratitude. Be thankful that you have electricity, food in your stomach and a roof over your head. If you need to, go online and look at photos from developing nations. Better, go to a developing nation for no less than one week – rough it if possible. Believe me, your perspective will change and you will be so grateful for every grain of rice you can put between your lips, for even 1 hour of electricity to charge devices and every drop of water. Pity parties are for selfish, introspective people – neither of which describes you.
#18 Let go of grudges
Holding a grudge is like never washing the dishes in your heart. Nasty gooey stuff sticks and then becomes hard – nearly impossible to remove. The worst part is that our hearts begin to grow sick because there is all this gunk that does not belong there. Sometimes our bodies respond physically (in the form of disease, deformation and ailments) because our hearts are holding onto foreign thoughts and things that don’t belong. Do yourself a favor and clean it out! If there is a grudge – let it go!
#19 Be the standard that brings others up – don’t stoop to someone’s lower level
Lovingly encourage others to be their best selves – don’t stoop to the low level of others who have a narrow or skewed perspective.
#20 Live free from the approval addiction
Remove the shackles of approval addiction from your wrists and ankles by just being you. You don’t need to abdicate the power to make good decisions to others. Surround yourself with others who will challenge you and support you – but you don’t need to live by the approval of others.
#21 Take a break – get a new perspective
Ever grow tired of the rat race? Doing the same thing over and over each day gets monotonous. Consider taking a short break to regroup and rejuvenate your creative self. This will also likely change your perspective on issues – returning them to the size of the anthill that they really are.
#22 Really take in and enjoy the beauty of small moments
Enjoy each of the little things – and who you were with then they happened. The small, nameless moments often propel us into much larger things in life without us knowing it. Take it all in!
#23 Everything does not have to be perfect
Perfectionism has its moments and its uses – but outside of that, it is a trap. Don’t allow yourself to be ensnared by an unobtainable situation called “perfect.” Allow your heart and that of others to be free to be your imperfect selves – you will be able to do this again and again in freedom throughout your lives.
#24 Do what is right – not what is convenient
Life is full of choices. There is always the path of least resistance, but does that get you to where you really want to be? We have to live with ourselves. If we have to keep justifying something, that’s probably a flag we should not ignore. Our consciences are there for a reason – allow your moral compass to guide you to do what is right whether someone is watching or not.
#25 Be real in a safe place
If something is not going well, you don’t always need to slap a plastic smile on your face. Find a safe place to really let it all out – to really be yourself. It is healthy and normal to express emotion in a safe way. Find that outlet and allow yourself to process difficult things when you need to.
#26 Take responsibility for your own actions
Blaming others is never the answer. Despite how others may have contributed, you have a part to play. It is always our decision to react or to respond. Do your part to make the best decision on your end. Take responsibility for your part in the situation.
#27 Avoid burnout via healthy boundaries
Don’t try to be everything to everyone – you will certainly burn yourself out. Narrow your focus and set realistic goals to do well in select areas. Set love-focused boundaries to enable the fulfillment of your goals. Saying “yes” to something also means saying “no” to something else. Choose wisely and live fully.
#28 Do not worry
If there’s one thing that sucks the life right out of us, it’s being anxious. Anxiety has it’s roots in fear – and fear is not your friend. When we live in fear, we have a lack of hope and a lack of love. Perfect love casts out all fear. So, get to the love source of your life and set your eyes on abundance, not lack. Ask yourself if you will remember the situation you are in a year from now or ten. Most likely, the answer will be “no.” So do yourself a favor and release your mind and heart from fear – embrace love and live life as it comes.
#29 Set your gaze on the goal
Wayne Gretsky was a famous ice hockey player who says that, “A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great play plays where the puck is going to be.“ Anticipate success and position yourself to embrace it when it comes. Don’t focus on the things you fear happening – focus your eyes on hope and good things.
#30 Always maintain an attitude of gratitude
No matter how bad you think your life or a particular situation is, the chances are VERY high that someone else has a far worse one. Be thankful in each situation for the good things. If you don’t see any, find one and just be thankful for the one. You never know what someone else is going through.
